June 1
Time seems to be flying by with no regard to my sanity. I have had no less that six new ideas for books come to me in the last week and, because I know there’s no way I can do them all even in the span of the year, I’ve had to get smart about which ones to focus on.
I’ve always made my decisions based on which books I’d like to write, but this time I’m beginning to think about which ones I’d enjoy marketing as well. I’m excellent at marketing myself as a freelancer. Books are a lot harder, at least for me. Which is why I must learn.
June 7
In the most British thing to happen this past weekend, a group of us were drinking in the park for the Queen’s Platinum Jubilee celebrations and a security officer came up to us and said, “It’s against the rules of the park to be drinking, so could you please hide the bottle and be a bit more discreet?”
I really do love this country.
June 8
Bliss! I’ve spent the last few days obsessively reading, obsessively writing (for fun), and hanging out with friends, sometimes on the beach.
I have four deadlines this week, and I’m definitely not ready to return to work. There’s a petulant child inside me who wants to scream, “But I don’t wanna!” There’s also a responsible adult who says, “Don’t you have bills to pay?”
Back to work it is.
June 9
Everyone fails. And everyone succeeds. No matter who you are, how long you’ve been alive, and where you live, there is at least one thing you’ve failed at in your life. And one area where you’ve succeeded.
It is so incredibly tempting to pick the one area of your life where you haven’t yet achieved what you want while ignoring all the successes you’ve had.
I reminded myself of this today. And my day got infinitely better.
June 10
Books read. Deadlines demolished. A chapter written. Emails answered. Friends met. Family called. Games played. Movies watched.
It’s been a good week.
June 13
I have been saying for years, perhaps decades, that all I’ve ever wanted to do in my life is read, write, and travel. And yet, in the last year, between being super busy with work, freelancing for money, and no less than three separate occurrences of COVID-19 in the Khullar Relph household, those are the precise things to have taken a backseat.
So this week, I put goals on them. I’m aware that the fastest way to kill a passion is to put it on a to-do list. But perhaps, it’s also the only way to make it happen.
I’m willing to try.
June 14
I found out recently that the average age of an author on the New York Times bestseller list is 54. If you account for the fact that there are a lot of 20-somethings on there, it stands to reason that there are tons of people in their sixties, seventies, and eighties as well.
So, you know, don’t be in a rush. You’re right on track.
June 15
A UK study found that just six minutes of “real” reading reduced stress levels more than having a cup of tea or listening to a piece of music.
In case you were looking for a science-backed reason to finish reading that novel today.
June 17
I realized the other day that it wasn’t until much later in my writing career that I started doubting myself. But I was already making a living at it by then.
Surely there’s a lesson in that.
June 20
I have officially started the third attempt at my third novel. 7,000 words down, a gazillion to go. Hold me.
June 21
My husband set me a challenge to not work evenings and weekends and I have to tell you, it’s been incredibly difficult. A friend used to say freelancing is choosing which 18 hours of the day you work, and I feel like I’ve somehow made that my motto.
I’m trying to be better at taking time off. Being near the beach helps. So does having a gigantic pile of unread books.
I’ll let you know how it goes.
June 23
I’ve been pretty relaxed all week. It feels like a bit of a reset in the Khullar Relph household where certain unaligned things have fallen away and new dreams, desires, and opportunities feel like they’re materializing just over the horizon. I have to remind myself to relax, enjoy the process, and let them come to me instead of chasing them down and beating them with a stick.
Sometimes not working feels like the hardest work of all.
June 24
There’s something really freeing about taking a notebook, sitting by the lake, and just jotting down ideas for stories and essays. Which is why that’s exactly what I’ve been doing this week.
June 30
I’ve been at the Self Publishing Show in London this week. Before I left, I set the intention to find clarity and confidence in the answer to this one question:
Is it really wise to indie publish standalone literary novels set in India when the readership for that market is so dependent on old-school methods of discoverability?
I didn’t expect any of the sessions to answer that question for me—it is an indie publishing conference, after all. But I figured I’d learn as much as I could, talk to people, just get a sense of what’s working and what isn’t, and where my books fit in.
I did find my answer, two hours in, when I called my husband utterly confused and had a major a-ha moment. And then at a party later that night, my decision was confirmed and sealed with confidence when I made a new friend and we talked through my options.
I’ve come to a decision. But more on that later.
July 4
There are some days when I wonder why anyone would choose to be anything other than a freelancer. (Then I have to send the third reminder about a pending invoice and I remember.)
July 5
Summer holidays have begun in the Khullar Relph household. Two entire months of “I’m bored and “Can I have some extra screen time?” and “But my friends are…”
Some part of me wants to hustle and make these two months count for something, but another just wants to lie on the beach all day, drink Pimm’s in the evening, and write novels whenever I can be bothered, deadlines be damned.
I guess I’m going to have to find some of that dreaded “balance” everyone keeps talking about.
July 6
I’m sitting by my window and sipping my first cup of tea as I write this to you. It’s become a part of my daily routine, getting up and thinking about what I’ll say to you each day. There is so much going on in the world that is sad, frustrating, and terrifying. I find it calming to have these five minutes in the morning to sit with myself before getting thrown into it.
You probably have a lot to say and write and do, and much of it feels urgent. Write those opinion pieces, send off those pitches, and finish those novels. But don’t forget to take a few minutes every day to center yourself as you do.
July 7
I’ve done what I vehemently advise writers not to do: I started four wildly different novels, all of which are now in varying stages of completion. One has a first draft, another has a 10,000-word outline, the third has the first chapter but no outline, and the fourth has 7,000 words written and polished.
I love them all and intend to finish them all, but I know I’m at that point now where I need to pick one and bring it to completion. I’m struggling to decide. Should I pick the one that’s easiest to complete? The one that’s most likely to be commercial? The one where I know how it ends? The one that fits in with the style of the two I’ve written already?
I don’t have answers, just questions.
But I’ve given myself until the end of the weekend to decide. Next week, we commit to finishing.
July 8
It is Friday, friends!
And because I have two deadlines, zero motivation, and 48 hours of reading ahead of me, I cannot wait for it to be the weekend. (Just kidding. I’ll be writing for at least 24 of those 48 hours.)
July 11
I am exceptionally lucky when it comes to freelance clients. My editor at Elle would pay me months in advance so I would quit talking about how broke I was and concentrate my energy on reporting stories. An editor at GlobalPost assigned me multiple stories and paid for them pre-editing when I returned from maternity leave. And you’ve heard me talk about how my agent paid for me to work with a top editor in New York for my second book because she believed in it so much.
This week, I had a new client offer to pay me in advance for work to be assigned later in the month. We signed a contract a few weeks ago, and they’d been slow in sending assignments. My client was feeling guilty for having kept me waiting and wanted to make sure I wasn’t left financially vulnerable as we got started.
I don’t often lose faith in people but every time I come close, someone beautiful comes along to show me that the minority are not the rule.
Just thought I’d share that reminder with you today.
July 14
My 10yo son and I got lost the other day trying to find a (new to us) library. I was annoyed at first, thinking about how we’d have to walk all this extra way, and how we weren’t at our destination already. But then we chanced upon this hill with grazing sheep, little walks through the trees, and the most beautiful and panoramic views of the city we’ve ever seen. All within minutes of where we live.
We couldn’t believe that we hadn’t known about all this beauty in our own backyard. And that it had taken us getting lost to find it.
Life’s like that sometimes.
I was feeling pretty lost in my career over the last six months. It’s taken a few detours to find the beauty that’s been here all along.