Hey everyone,
I lost momentum.
One day I was sailing along, writing these daily emails, sending them, making consistent sales, feeling as though I’d finally found my comfort zone. The habit wasn’t quite established yet, not enough for it to be so natural as to not have to think about it, but it was a habit. It was no longer something I had to force myself to do each day.
It was natural, easy.
But then things started getting tricky. I’ve been in visa limbo since arriving back in the UK. This week, finally, I had a spoken English test (part of the visa application—to prove that I can, you know, “assimilate” in this country), and even though my application is likely to remain in limbo for several months, after many months of fretting, scanning hundreds of documents, and worrying, it does seem to finally be done.
This has done no favors for my business (or, let’s be honest, my mental health).
Of course, in the midst of this, I changed my name.
And I started freelancing again.
That’s the fun bit and something I’ve really been enjoying. I started slowly easing back into pitching a few weeks ago and am reminded how much joy it brings me to talk to editors, bring them stories, tell them about all that’s happening in my part of the world and experience the joy of having them say, “Yes! We need to tell this story!”
It’s been different this time around, though. For one, my playground is different. The UK, not India. While I will always maintain a connection to India and still love telling her stories, I’ve also branched out into more British stories. After years of living here, I feel now that I’ve picked up enough nuance to know when a source is pulling back, how to get them to ease up and talk to me, and how to really hear what’s being said between the lines. This came naturally to me in India; it’s been a skill that I’ve had to nurture here in the UK. But I finally feel like I know it now, and know it well. Which opens up a whole world of stories to me that I’m excited to tell.
Two, I’m telling different stories. When I became a freelancer almost two decades ago from India, I had so much to prove. To myself, but also to others. I had to prove that I could get published, that I could write for a living, that I could maintain my freelancing to a point that I’d never have to get a full-time job, and of course, that I could get published in top newspapers and magazines. All of that doesn’t delight me anymore. I don’t feel the need to chase a particular publication or name as I once felt the need to. I don’t need to prove to myself that my stories can win awards, earn $2 a word, or get me into top publications. I’ve done all that.
Instead, my focus now is on the actual stories. What do I want to say and how I want to say it?
Where I say it has become secondary.
It’s interesting, being a freelancer again. But what has really fascinated me is how much more quickly I can do it, how little angst I have through the process.
I’m working on my next novel, pretty much daily. I’m running this business, which has a lot going on behind the scenes, even when I’m not sending these emails, and I’m tapping into journalism again.
Yet, I don’t feel overwhelmed. I’m not working stupid hours. I’m reading, I’m going out now and again (in a very socially distanced way, of course), and I’m watching far too many cooking shows on Netflix (not doing any cooking, though, hmm.)
It’s like I’ve been saying my entire career: You practice something, you get good at it, and then that skill serves you for your entire life.
I learned early on not only how to make writing fun, but how to make pitching fun.
I put in the hard work then, so I could reap the rewards forever.
That’s what practice does. It takes you up a level, then another, then another, so that by the time you’re up several levels, it is impossible for you to drop back down to the beginning.
You get better. It gets easier. You start having more fun.
I’m having more fun.
I hope you’re finding ways in your writing to have fun, too.
Cheers,
Natasha