Hey everyone,
Do you sometimes feel like all you do is keep learning the same lesson over and over again?
I’m so bullish on being you, doing it your way, and finding fun and joy in your business, but then what do I do? I go join an entrepreneur group where people teach a paint-by-numbers style of doing business and decide that, despite everything I teach and say, I’m going to give it a go.
You know, just so I can delay my progress and learn the same bloody lesson all over again.
Which is that I don’t do paint by numbers. That my way is the only way that can lead to growth for me. That no matter what anyone else says or does, I cannot succeed at something I cannot fully put my energy behind.
And I cannot put my energy behind cookie-cutter systems and formulas that Internet marketing thrives on.
This is what I know to be true: You can’t force or shame yourself into action because that doesn’t create lasting change. You might arm-twist yourself into doing something for a week, a month or, if you’re persistent and bullheaded enough, several months, but that comes at the cost of your joy, your ease of doing the work, and your time. Time that could have been spent discovering how to achieve the same results in a way that is aligned for you.
It is why I recommend making writing and business fun. That doesn’t mean it’s not challenging. It means you don’t resent doing it. It’s why writing thousands of words a day becomes easy and simple for some writers and is a horrendous struggle for others.
It’s why I love selling (because I approach it from a place of service) and many other writers I know absolutely hate it (because they view it as “pushy” and “aggressive” and feel that it’s the only way to do sales.) It’s just a difference in point of view. I’m never pushy or aggressive in my marketing because I’m very comfortable in what I offer and know that I’ll be here doing my work anyway, regardless of whether thousands of people buy or no one does. I’d love for you to come be part of the work I’m doing and the things I’m offering at the moment because I truly believe they’ll be of value to you and help you achieve results faster, but I’m going to be making them anyway, I’m going to be doing my work anyway, I’m going to be having fun anyway.
And therefore, while it’s fantastic when a book deal, a launch or a sale goes well, and disappointing when it doesn’t, it doesn’t fundamentally change anything I do or who I am.
So, back to that entrepreneur group. I joined because I’ve been lax with growing this email list and I want to have the numbers, not only because it helps my business, but also because I want to reach more readers who will love my novels, appreciate my voice, and connect with my work.
I received the same advice I’ve received many times before (and often ignored): You’re such a strong, fast, and accomplished writer, so use that strength and write a bunch of free stuff for blogs and other writing websites in order to build your subscriber base.
Yes, I’m a strong, fast, and accomplished writer, which is why the idea of writing for free for other people makes me break out into hives.
Not only does this not align with who I am and what I preach, but having newbie writers who’ve never published a word in their life running writing websites and telling us all what we should be doing and then sending “edits” on my work makes me want to smash wine bottles on their computers (why should I break mine?)
So, eventually, six months in, I’m ignoring all the advice I stupidly paid to receive.
Writing is not my only skill. And I’ve been thinking about some of the other things I’m excellent at and that I enjoy, and how I can use them to grow this list.
Mostly, I want you to remember one thing: When people tell you something works, what they are saying is it worked for them. It might work for you, it might not. It depends on whether you can get your energy behind it.
And you can’t get your energy, your mindset, or your effort behind something that is at odds with who you are. However, align the two—do things in a way that feels natural to you and put all your energy behind it—and magic happens.
So, once again, I learn the same lesson. Which is fine because now I get to share it with you.
Cheers,
Natasha