Hey everyone,
Here are some stories I once told myself that have held me back in my career and life, and of course, how I reframe and rewrote them so that they didn’t any longer.
1. “There is a price to be paid for success.”
The thing with stories is that it’s not just what you’re told, or what you think, it’s what you believe. When you believe that you need to pay a price for success, when that success comes, you unintentionally start looking for things that must be sacrificed. You sabotage. And you know me. Once I’m committed to something, I’m committed.
Man, did I sabotage. I sabotaged my health, I sabotaged my finances, I sabotaged my marriage. I even tried to sabotage that very success.
2. “There are fewer opportunities for me in India than there would be in the UK.”
I hear this all the time in my community about the better opportunities for Western writers living in the West, and while, of course, there is some measure of truth to this sentiment, opportunities are by no means limited for people who are not in the West.
Once I moved to the UK, I realized that I made more money there because I expected to make more money there (and my arse was on the line for a much higher level of bills). I was not, in the years that I first moved to the UK, able to take advantage of the networking or other opportunities and everything I did was from home anyway. Whether that home was in the UK or India made no difference. In fact, given that I had specialized in India, my opportunities pretty much dried up that first year after I moved. Yet, I made more money. Because I expected to.
Here’s the kicker: I returned to India for a year (my gap year!) Know why? As a journalist and freelancer, there are far more opportunities here in India. I returned briefly so I could take advantage of them. (And I did.)
3. “If I say what I really think, they will judge me/it will hurt my business.”
I’m an athiest. I do, however, believe in magic and a higher consciousness.
I think there is far too much victimhood in the world and not enough personal responsibility.
I’m aware that the writers who moan all the time on Facebook about not succeeding don’t succeed because they’re spending all the limited time they have moaning on Facebook about not succeeding.
I believe that we can all get what we want but that some of us, by virtue of our race, gender, different abilities, and life situations, just have to work ten times harder to get it. It’s not fair and something we must all work to change. But as we do, it’s imperative that I keep trying and pushing and taking personal responsibility for my career because I’m not willing to let my life to go to waste while the world figures out that it should reward my talents and not hold it against me that I’m female, non-white, different. So I do what I have to do, whether that’s working harder, learning more skills, or knocking on more doors. I do whatever it takes, for as long as it takes, until it takes.
I think that people who spend time reading my work even though they disagree with me or claim to hate me should leave and go spend time with people they like and adore. That they don’t and continue following me and trying to argue with me means they’re either people with no respect for their own time or people who see the truth in what I say but are unwilling to admit it. Or they get off on being offended all the time, which is also a thing.
I think it’s cute that people I don’t know and have never heard of think they can change my beliefs and what I stand for because they posted an ill-informed comment on Facebook.
Still here? Good.
I no longer worry about people judging me, leaving, or deliberately misrepresenting my work. I don’t engage with them on Twitter and I don’t bother responding to them when they email. I’m not here to convert people. I’m here to do my work, to tell stories, to share what I’ve learned. Take what you like and leave the rest.
There were so many more, but in recent years, these were the ones that I struggled with the most.
For me, the question was never “Will I be successful?” The question was always, “Will I allow myself to be successful?” and “What stories do I need to let go of in order to be successful?” (Hence this post.)
What stories are you telling yourself that limit your potential and stand in the way of your success? I’d love to hear them.
Cheers,
Natasha