While pitching a query letter on something a friend and I are doing together, I needed to write up 100-word bios for each of us. Here are some statistics:
Time taken to research and write the query letter: 2 hours 45 minutes.
Time taken to write his bio: 15 minutes.
Time taken to write my bio: 4 hours 20 minutes.
Total time procrastinated to avoid writing the bio: 4 days
Now if you’re not a writer, you’re either thinking I’m exaggerating or shaking your head and going, “This woman is nuts.” If you are a writer, you’re nodding emphatically and saying “Thank God! She’s just like me!” Because let’s face it, we can write a 1,500-word feature on the right way to peel a banana, but woe be to the editor who asks us to write 50 words about ourselves. Thankfully, my name takes up two of those words, so I really just need to come up with 48.
But since I was dedicated to the cause of finding a person who could help me solve the mystery of the bio, I went looking and came across Jennifer Layton, a writer who not only writes great bios, but actually makes some serious pocket money doing it! I immediately got hold of her in order to make her spill all (which she very gladly did).
MK: Jennifer, welcome! How do you like the new design?
JL: Cool. The new version is more serious, focusing on writing with the clever Scrabble graphic. The old version has a more dreamy vibe. Personally, I gravitate toward the dreamy vibe, but I think the new design presents you more as a serious writer, intent on making a living at what you do. And that Scrabble graphic is really, really cool.
MK: So tell me, what makes a bad bio bad? And what makes a good one, uh, good? And what makes a good bio great?
JL: Let’s start with what makes a bad bio bad. Three of the biggest red flags:
1. Hyperbole. I have actually received bios containing straight-faced statements that this artist is the most creative musician in the history of music. Or the most skilled guitar player in the world. Or (my personal favorite) the most unique artist ever. These statements set the artist up for unfortunate comparisons, because the reviewer will then listen to the album and think, “he’s not the most skilled guitar player in the world! Clapton is much better. So’s Page. In fact, so’s that kid across the street in the garage band … “
2. Cliches. Artist bios have their own set of empty, tired phrases that get used all the time and tell us nothing. “Jane Smith is a truly gifted artist.” “John Doe has a unique style all his own.” “This music is a breath of fresh air.” I can usually take sentences like this if they are then followed by specific, descriptive examples, but most of the time, they stand alone, saying nothing.
3. Spelling, grammar, and punctuation errors. Start with spell-check. Then get several friends to look it over. Have the guy at Kinko’s look it over. Have your dog look it over. Shell out a few bucks for a professional editor to look it over. You don’t want to make the wrong impression. Way back when I started writing CD reviews, I got a bio from an artist who described himself as an intelligent folk singer/songwriter, and the word “intelligent” was misspelled.
What makes a good bio good? Obviously, one that avoids the red flags listed above. But what makes a good bio great? Writing that makes the artist’s personality or style leap off the page at me. Writing that makes me want to play the CD immediately because the artist now has my attention. If I read your bio, and it makes me pull your CD out of the pile of 57 CDs on the floor of my office and play it right away, you’ve written a great bio.
MK: I love bios that have humor injected into them, don’t you? It makes for interesting reading. What works and what doesn’t as far as humor is concerned?
A: I love humor, period. It’s how I began my writing career (I started as a humor columnist for my college newspaper). When artists use humor in their bio, they’re telling me they enjoy what they do, and while they may take their music and career seriously, they don’t take themselves way too seriously.
I think humor is important in an artist bio. Otherwise, your bio sounds like a resume for a regular day job. I get the idea, reading some bios, that the artist is afraid to use any humor because they think I won’t take them seriously. I understand that concern. Just remember that you’re not applying for a job at Citibank. You’re selling something artistic and spiritual, something that reflects your soul. You’re putting yourself into your music, and you’re trying to get me to listen. Relax and be yourself.
In some cases, I can see where humor is not appropriate. If I’m getting a CD from a political folk singer whose songs are about suffering and injustice, then humor in her bio would be a little jarring.
MK: Do you get the feeling that a lot of writers copy each others’ bios and end up following a very rigid format?– I grew up in yada-yada-yada, started writing because yada-yada-yada, been published in yada-yada-yada and of course, have a husband, two kids and three cats, yada-yada-yada. But published credits, location and some of that yada-yada-yada is actually important. How do you stand apart in those 50-something words?
JL: It’s great that you bring that up, because I was just talking about that with one of my editors and another writer at Indie-Music.com! Yes, a lot of the bios we read do follow the same rigid formats, but I have a couple of theories on why that happens. It’s not because the artists lack imagination. It’s because:
1. In school, they teach you to write a resume. That’s about it. Unless you go to a school for the arts, the only way you learn to sell yourself is with a professional resume that’s about as rigid and dull as you can get. Here’s where I went to school, here are my skills, here are my hobbies, blah blah blah. If an artist is brave enough to ditch the day job and try to write an artist bio, I’m not at all surprised that he goes for what he knows — writing a resume.
2. Again, the artist is afraid that if he doesn’t come across as totally professional, we reviewers won’t take him seriously. So he writes a dry and serious resume and loosens the structure a bit so it’s in paragraph form. But it’s still a resume, just like they taught him in school.
So how can the artist stand out? Simply by ditching the resume and being himself. I’ve received bios in the form of poetry, lyrics, and self-interviews. For a great example of a self-interview, check out comedian Brian Regan’s web site.
He’s a goofy yet smart comedian, so he wrote a self-interview that’s goofy and smart. He does have a separate bio on the site with more relevant information about himself and his career, so an artist can just combine the two by writing a self-interview that contains all the relevant information without sounding like a job interview.
MK: You had to see this coming. Can we see your bio?
JL: You know, when I saw this question, I actually freaked out and went back over my bio to make sure I was absolutely happy with it! You lit a fire under me!
Here’s a link to the bio on my web site: http://www.jenniferlayton.com/