I wrote to three people recently, to tell them I loved their work. Didn’t get a single reply. So I began wondering, am I the only one who actually replies to fan mail (and makes some pretty cool friends that way)?
I asked a couple of writers in order to find out. Almost all of them said that yes, they reply to fan mail as long as it isn’t downright freaky. Others said they didn’t reply only when the volume got too hard to handle.
My take on this is that unless you’re a hotshot artist and get hundreds of letters a day, always, always, always reply to people who’ve taken the time to write to you. Apart from the fact that these people could be on the higher rung of the ladder and could actually help you in your career, it’s also a matter of common courtesy. I’m not remotely famous or anything and I get an average of two to three emails a day telling me that I’m loved, so I know that replying to each one can take up a lot of time. But I do it anyway. Because I want people who write to me to know that their words are appreciated.
What do I do with these emails? I collect them. I save them for the really low days when I feel worthless and think this writing path isn’t worth it. Sometimes, I’ll these mails one by one and discover, once again, why it IS worth every frustrating minute of it.
Can You Afford Silence?
I hear from readers who love what I do, even if I’m not perfect and make the most humiliating mistakes. A little thank you note seems very small in comparison.
One of the early articles I wrote for a website led to my first letter of feedback. The reader wrote to me saying that I had a lot of talent and that she hoped to see my name everywhere in the next couple of years. For a nobody writer who didn’t believe in herself, that one letter served as encouragement for the many ruthless months that followed. Whenever I felt frustrated at my lack of success or doubted my talent, I’d go back to that letter and know that there was one person in this world who thought I could make it. If this stranger who knew nothing about me thought I could make it, why didn’t I?
Your readers make you. By writing to them, interacting with them, you’re endearing yourself to them. By giving them the cold shoulder, you run the risk of alienating them.
A fan who receives a response (even if it’s just a one-line thank you), becomes your fan forever.
When you’re famous, you have the luxury of not replying to fan mail or hiring an assistant. In the meantime, love those who love you.