Hi friends,
We had our monthly coaching call in Bookish Pursuits last week, following a week of successes: a book launch, an author getting a manuscript request the same day she sent her query letter to agents, and me being able to write really, really well. (This is going to stick.)
We’ve been a busy group these last few weeks. I’ve been sharing a lot of the behind-the-scenes, some gossipy personal publishing stories, what happened with my first novel, and what’s going on with the second. As much as I like to be transparent in these emails, I can’t talk about ongoing projects without jeopardizing them. But it will be years before these projects come to fruition, and so I’m excited that I get to share the lessons as I’m learning them with the group in the meantime.
Speaking of books, I’m completely and utterly overwhelmed with the ones on my plate. I have a deadline on one, I want to get edits finished on another before I lose steam, and I desperately want to start researching my next nonfiction book so that I can have a proposal ready to go and keep these projects moving.
The problem is that this is all still unpaid work for me. Until these books and proposals sell, it’s just me putting hours and hours of work in for no return. That’s not a massive problem, I love what I do. But I am also the primary breadwinner for my family, which means that I often have to juggle all this book work with making a living.
And some weeks, like this one, when personal life takes precedence (my son is having eye surgery this week and I cannot bear to be away from him for even a minute), it all becomes too much, and before I know it, I’m overwhelmed. Soon, the overwhelm has turned to anxiety. And if I’m not careful, the anxiety will turn to either depression or hypnomania, neither of which end well.
I’ve been getting good at anticipating when a week is likely to be emotionally charged, and will therefore make me vulnerable to overwhelm and mood fluctuations, and so now I try to get in before the cycle starts and take steps to avoid getting overwhelmed in the first place.
Here’s what I did to prepare for this week:
1. I wrote all these newsletters a week in advance so that you’d still get them, but I wouldn’t have to write them in real-time.
2. I told everyone who needed to know that I’ll be unavailable for the entire week. Even though it’s likely that I’ll only be unavailable for a couple of days, I wanted to make sure to build in that buffer in case the recovery takes longer or there are complications. By not scheduling anything this week, I’ve given myself some grace.
3. I bought some books (funny novels) that I’m excited to read.
4. I extended a few deadlines.
5. I finished what I could, accepted that I will never be fully caught up, and just tried to be as straight with everyone as I could be.
6. I set very clear boundaries. This week is my kid’s week, and is off limits to everyone else. I may well choose to make myself available at times, but that would be my choice, not an expectation from anyone else.
If you find yourself getting overwhelmed, take a week for yourself, use the ideas above to create an artificial boundary, and take the space you need before it impacts your mental health.
I’ll see you again tomorrow.
Cheers,
Natasha