Hey everyone,
I’ve been experimenting with a mindset shift recently that’s been really interesting to play around with. It’s the idea that success is a given. Not something to work towards, not something to fight for, not something that needs to be earned. But something that is a natural consequence of the work that I do.
But before I tell you about that, let me tell you something else.
I grew up a girl, in India. I married a white man, who grew up in the UK. He has a lot more privileges I do, most of which become incredibly obvious the moment we step into an airport, a pub, or even out of the house. But there is one privilege I have that he never did. I had the privilege of belief. From as far back as I can remember, my parents, and especially my father, told me that I was incredibly smart and that I was going to be a huge success in whatever I chose to do. I was told repeatedly as I was growing up that I was destined for success.
My white husband, on the other hand, had the opposite experience. Sam is not only one of the most intellectually intelligent people I know, but also the most emotionally intelligent. He has, as one of my friends wrote to me the other day, “safe space written all over him.” Sam is the least judgemental person I’ve ever met. He accepts people for who they are and for this reason, people open up to him and tell him things they have often never told anyone else. They feel safe around him. Growing up in England, however, Sam was routinely told to keep his head down, not bring attention to himself, be average, stay average, and not get too big for his boots.
Unsurprisingly, I grew up expecting to succeed at everything I did and he, well, didn’t.
Belief is a privilege, too, I think, because it changes how you show up in the world.
But maybe it is also a choice. Or an attitude. Or a skill. I don’t know. What I do know is that it can be practiced, it can be learned, it can be nurtured.
It’s this belief that I’ve been playing around with recently, that success is a given, no matter what. I’ve been spending a lot of time working from that place, that energy.
Which is why when a client asks for a discount, I don’t feel pressured into offering it.
Which is why when a launch doesn’t go as planned, I don’t freak out.
Which is why when a book doesn’t sell or I turn down a book deal, I don’t make it mean anything about me.
Which is why when a project takes longer than I’d anticipated, I don’t worry about the additional time I’m “wasting” on it.
Which is why when someone emails me to say they’re struggling, I can be generous and offer them scholarships or mentorship without worrying about the cost of it.
Because when you believe, when you TRUST, that everything you do is adding up to your greater good, your eventual success, you work from a place of power and not desperation. You make better choices. And you show up with a level of confidence that people can’t help but be attracted to.
That, inevitably, leads to more success.
And a more fun time had while getting there, too.
Cheers,
Natasha